Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Ratzinger Comes Into Money Just Before New Pope Announced

Former Pope, Josef Ratzinger is under investigation tonight after placing a bet at  the Vatican branch of Paddy Power on the new Pope being Jorge Mario Bergoglio,  just minutes before white smoke was seen coming from the Sistine Chapel and a full hour before his successor was formally named.  The bet, believed to be of over 50,000 Euros at 16/1, netted the ex-pontiff over 800,000 Euros.
Suspicions were first raised after staff at the betting shop noticed “an elderly gentleman” loitering outside the bookmakers for some hours beforehand,  making and receiving numerous calls on his mobile phone.  After one of these calls, the man hurriedly entered the shop and shuffled straight to the counter and immediately placed the huge cash bet.
It is believed Ratzinger was apprehended by Police at a gay bar in Rome a while later, after becoming drunk and “mouthing off and laughing” about the scam with the bars resident drag-artist Venus de Mile-High.


  1. Acolyte of Sagan13 March 2013 at 20:53

    Bloody hilarious. Nice one, Cyril!
    I shall be posting a link to this at my local (J&M's Cock and Bull, obviously) later tonight.

    1. Thanks mate! Although your still the only commentator! viewing figures for the site growing nicely. Writing this has also inspired me to get back in touch with the Canal Cafe Theatre in London again about submitting material again (mentioned in the 'about me' section) If I ever get a BAFTA, your invited to the 'do' afterwards!

  2. Acolyte of Sagan13 March 2013 at 22:41

    I'll send my tux to the drycleaners forthwith.